phone notes of note 2016 [mary grace allerdice]
<NOTES _ JANUARY 12, 2016
LET IT BECOME THE TIME
<NOTES _ FEBRUARY 19, 2016
BURDOCK
DANDELION
SPIRULINA
BEE POLLEN
SEAWEED
FLAXSEED MEAL or FLAXSEED OIL
SHIITAKE MUSHROOMS
ECHINACEA
<NOTES _ FEBRUARY 24, 2016
You want this? (then) Give it to me. Trust in the reciprocal act. But I’m afraid, and fear is a lack of trust. Fear is anger.
_______________
what if we have a responsibility to Joy?
<NOTES _ MARCH 3, 2016
Herman de Vries
“to be all ways to be”
<NOTES _ MARCH 30, 2016
how our personal selves translate politically/are directly political.
the converse is also true.
if i am stressed, i create stress.
who is rethinking the art opening and how we spend our time late at night?
<NOTES _ APRIL 14, 2016
HOW CAN DANCE BE MORE LIKE GRAFFITI
<NOTES _ MAY 22, 2016
i think there’s a difference between
1) not loving yourself
and
2) being lonely.
it’s like they make it your fault -- “just love yourself. that’s all you need.”
you can love yourself AND be lonely. they can both be true. and it doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. i am lonely because there is a profound Absence.
<NOTES _ JUNE 4, 2016
“The quagmires we find ourselves in right now are the perfect alignment of inner and outer circumstances that are bringing us to the pivotal moment of choice and change. We can keep doing what we have always done and keep on getting what we have always got OR we can change.
<NOTES _ JUNE 14, 2016
“all objects, rightly perceived, are already full.”
<NOTES _ JUNE 25, 2016
love is not the thing we are are waiting to “be ready” for
love. there’s no such thing as ready.
you just decide.
you just do it.
all i hear you saying is i’m scared i’m scared i’m scared i’m scared
i don’t care what your pretend reasons are
(i’m scared i’m scared i’m scared)
love doesn’t give a fuck if you’re scared. the invitation doesn’t change to accommodate your fears.
love isn’t a thing you are ready for. it’s a thing that comes. next time, it would behoove you to say yes.
<NOTES _ JUNE 27, 2016
the tree is already dead
the man is in the earth put the dead tree into the earth
go into the earth
put your heart in a bowl. bury it. because
he’s in the ground.
i’m sinking into the earth into something that knows me
because i am made of it.
“there is leverage in alignment that is nearly undefinable.” hicks
<NOTES _ JUNE 26, 2016
watch sad boys by mad boots
audre lorde uses of the erotic
<NOTES _ JUNE 21, 2016
billboard… annoying.
our whole semblance of peace is wrong -- “peace” is who has the bigger gun that can make the other gun quiet. “peace” is accomplished through violence. but peace is really when there are reactions of peace towards others.
the “peacemakers” are the presence of violent weapons that will “keep the peace.” why are guns even in the FUCKING conversation? if it’s always going to be a draw, then it will always be a question of one life over another. because there is the capacity and expectation of violence within every single GODDAM weapon.
<NOTES _ AUGUST 7, 2016
yes, please
i do want that very much
you are wonderful.
<NOTES _ AUGUST 22, 2016
we.
i know.
i was there.
arch cape, oregon
a little life
attention -- simone weil -- maybe art is prayer. for those of us who aren’t sure how to pray.
doing what you love → essence vs. structure
what if aesthetics are just the bridge, the thread of associative connectivity.
what does an image mean today?
is there an inherent ethical fibre to the tapestry of aesthetics?
does insisting on making careers out of it take away some of its revolutionary quality? is it, in fact, more conservative to need it to be legitimized by career?
<NOTES _ AUGUST 30, 2016
self care to do:
dr god
work pants
massage
<NOTES _ SEPTEMBER 10, 2016
“The more you love someone, the weaker you are in front of them.” _Xavier le Pichon
<NOTES _ OCTOBER 14, 2016
integration only happens when you rest.
performance may be the last thing that demands our attention…
<NOTES _ OCTOBER 16, 2016
NICK strength, father of wands, 5 of swords
move in with me magician, 3 of wands, 3 of pentacles
<NOTES _ OCTOBER 17, 2016
<NOTES _ OCTOBER 23, 2016
<NOTES _ OCTOBER 30, 2016
new moon
i bury my old self, past pain, old struggles.
release.
thank you for never ceasing to give me everything.
<NOTES _ NOVEMBER 7, 2016
Archduke Trio, Beethoven (Rubinstein - Heifetz - Feuermann)
Haydn’s first cello concerto (Pierre Fournier)
___ Kafka
<NOTES _ NOVEMBER 8, 2016
it’s BODY time. again.
i had to learn my mind.
now see with something besides your mind. see with your gut, your vagina, your hair -- a deep-lying femininity.
<NOTES _ NOVEMBER 9, 2016
the future is queer + the future is female.
fuck your racism
fuck your guns
and your walls
and entitled masculinity.
fuck fossil fuels
and save all the whales and everything indigenous to ocean and peace.
go read poetry and join an environmental advocacy group. we have work to do.
peace.
<NOTES _ NOVEMBER 28, 2016
you beautiful, beautiful bird. dearly missed.
______________
for james - it is not good to be owned by something that doesn’t love you back -- pro patria mori.
<NOTES _ NOVEMBER 29, 2016
THINGS TO TALK ABOUT IN THERAPY
time + expectations
death -- jacosa
children
<NOTES _ DECEMBER 3, 2016
being in your body as a cultural, spiritual practice. a radical act of meaning making.
<NOTES _ DECEMBER 5, 2016
i’ve heard so many times that the whole universe is “conspiring” with me. and maybe that’s true. it is often more optimistic than i can truly participate in. what if the universe just IS. and we’re a part of it.
more like we are the same fabric -- if i lean in one direction, the other threads must follow.
more like sharing sheets on the bed -- if i pull, my desired covers come to me; and if you’re in my sheets, you’ll come to me, too.
<NOTES _ DECEMBER 9, 2016
surrender is ultimately alignment
<NOTES _ DECEMBER 27, 2016
it’s interesting how people misunderstand when virtuos -ity isn’t displayed as a primary value.
<NOTES _ DECEMBER 28, 2016
alignment isn’t about anything outside of oneself.
<NOTES _ DECEMBER 30, 2016
that your body would be flourishing with health, joy, abundance + pleasure
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