Sometimes, People Aren’t Gonna Like You. [melissia fernander]
| note from curator |
The women I have chosen for this month's posts are people I admire in my local community. They have been friends and collaborators, and my closeness with them varies. Most of all, they are people who have powerful and unwavering personalities. They are strong, fierce, creative and vocal about themselves and what they do. What I also know about these women, aside from their distinct and incredible identities, is that they struggle. They do so privately and publicly, but they struggle with a kind of strength and vulnerability that I find moving and inspiring.
Jessica Caldas
Like most, have experienced my share of rejection. My marriage ended in divorce, I have experienced job layoffs, and I was once fired. Galleries have declined my submissions, and let’s not even talk about boyfriends….
Each time, I had to learn to pick myself up and accept that Sometimes, People Aren’t Gonna Like You.
I have not mastered a peaceful attitude about rejection. Rather, I find consolation in understanding the forces that are beyond my control. They are: Preferences, Change through Adversity, and Fit.
Please join me at the fruit bowl…..
PREFERENCES: Strawberries and Apples and Bananas
The fruit bowl has a lot of fruit. The kids are hungry for fruit. Tom picks Strawberry. Jackie picks Apple. Quon picks Banana. Quon always picks Banana.
Quon’s preference does not negate the intrinsic value of Strawberry. It doesn’t demean Apple. Quon just wants Banana. You are Apple. You are Strawberry.
Apple and Strawberry won’t and cannot be all things to all people. Apple and Strawberry are not designed to be loved by everybody. They have their own unique flavor. They are juicy. If they stay in the fruit bowl, they will get picked by an apple or strawberry lover.
CHANGE THROUGH ADVERSITY: Apple Has a Bruise
Apple fell out of the fruit bowl and dropped to the floor. Apple doesn’t look perfect. Apple is sad about the bruise. Apple blames the other fruit for pushing Apple out of the fruit bowl. If Apple hides the bruise, Apple will get mushy. Apple will rot. No one picks Apple.
Apple has important decisions to make. Apple needs to leave the fruit bowl. Apple needs to become Cider, or perhaps hook up with Oatmeal and become Apple Crisp. Apple could become an Apple Pie, or Apple could go big, get to Paris and become Apples Charlotte. But if Apple doesn’t change, Apple will become compost.
FIT: Catfish. Lemons. Apples. Pork Chops.
Catfish needs a garnish. Catfish wants Lemon, possibly Lime. Not Apple.
Apple is mad. Apple is angry. Apple stalks Catfish. Apple won’t leave Catfish alone. Apple has a bad attitude about Catfish. Apple talks smack about Catfish. Catfish thinks Apple is crazy.
Apple must find Pork Chop. Pork Chop needs and wants Apple. Pork Chop and Apple work well together. Apple needs to collect her peels and find the right Pork Chop.
I cannot change my preferences, and it is unrealistic and arrogant to expect other people to change their preferences for me. I cannot control adversity that randomly comes my way. I cannot fit with every opportunity that exists in the world. These are things outside of my control.
What I can control is finding my strong voice, my Pork Chop, by adapting when life happens to me and developing a role that maximizes my talents and joy.
This, is what I wish for you.
| all content is property of the artist |