What you see when you close your eyes [hannah neal fleming]

Each night that I ferried your weight

From the burning building, I stayed

Soothing my wounds

I want to give you diamonds

Gave me eyelids filled with carbon

In the darkness I remembered

I wanted mouse traps

I wanted fire alarms I wanted

Fireworks I wanted extinguishers

I remembered when we touched it felt like

Bone on bone, but pleasant

And where was the life in  

Grinding into dust

The flames’ clement whispers

Wrinkled down my neck

Where your lips once crept, my lips left

Leaving wax figures of our children:

The oldest, Felix, videos of him

Playing with chickens, sandcastles

The ocean dripping down his chin  

When I took my last breath

I thought I’d mastered

The tools of the master

By way of fire: keep moving

Layer perfectly scattered

Stories in the language of disaster

Down came the rafters

Out of the ashes my secretary

Reached out her hand politely

For any artifacts

She could pull under the surface

Of her fist and harden

Meanwhile, in heaven

I blew into a dandelion

Each particle of sunbeam

Contained your virus

It blew my mind to pieces

Please lend me a broom

Please send it to this address:

I behaved badly, I am an arsonist

In my mind I was just loving you

Write me back