The Things you missed [vanessa jagodinsky]
The newly painted walls
The cold grey floor
The flickering of the candles’ flames
The hot wax
The fluorescent lights
The empty frame
The soft cushioned seats
The red velvet pillow
The shutter sounds of the camera
The chairs being scraped on the floor
The confusion on their faces
The exchange of:
Energy
Fear
Anxiety
Smiles
Deep gazes
Frustration
Watered eyes
A bushel of pubic hair
The sound of the shears
The way the hair disappeared
The serving of each meal
The sound of hair ripping apart
The puddle of white
The contrast of black inside white bowls
My nipples from hard to soft
My nipples from soft to hard
The woman saying, “They should put a sheet up, give us a warning.”
The facial expressions when:
My back
My toes
My knuckles
Cracked
The grasping hands between us
My struggle to stay standing
The sounds I made when my legs started to hurt
The movement
The resistance to move
The restricted movements
The shape of my body as I reached across to the opposite guest
Her slurp of my milk
The whisper “I am going to get up now”
The sound of the milk
The taste of the milk
The cold liquid
My hand on his inner thigh
My hand on her inner thigh
Wiping the spilt milk off:
His pants
Her hand
My hands
Rubbing the milk into my skin
Wiping the milk away with my hair
The:
Spill
Drip
Splash
Spread
Of the milk
My hazel eyes
To his blue eyes
To her brown eyes
To her black eyes
To HIS blue eyes
To her shifting eyes
To avoid her eyes
To cry from my eyes
To wipe them in my hair
The sound of others
The silence of others
The ones who walked away
The ones who stayed
The distance between the observers and myself
The distance between those who didn’t show up and myself
The closeness of the brave ones and myself
When I gazed long enough that he looked away
As if I could reach him
Across the room
The control
The lack of control
The need for control
The colors:
On the wallpaper
Matching the chairs
Of the hair
Contrasting with the table cloth
Of the pale woman
The man
The tan one
The smooth one
The hairless one
The hairiest one
The strong hand
The delicate hand
The movement of the tablecloth as they came and went
The moment when I wanted her to stay but she left
The violation of my hair
Connected to my body
Mine
The quick decisions
The contemplation of guests
Her helping hand
Getting out of the table
My toes
My calves
My knees
My hips
My butt
My belly
My boobs
My tattoos
My collarbone
My chin
My lips
My nose
My ears
My eyes
My brows
My hair
The clapping at the end
The minutes
Ninety
You missed it.
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